It’s 4 solutions to 4 questions. Right here we go…
1. My neighbor, her nephew, my child, and her canine
My query has to do with child work. I not too long ago discovered myself in an uncomfortable scenario with my middle-schooler, Falcon, and I’m questioning if I dealt with it badly. My neighbor, Jane, requested Falcon to test on her canine and take them for a stroll whereas she attended an occasion. She provided $15/hour, and since Falcon loves canine, he agreed. The request was for him to spend two to 3 hours strolling and taking part in with the canine, beginning between 5 and 6 pm.
On the afternoon of the occasion, Jane texted, asking if Falcon might as a substitute keep at her home till she returned round 11 pm. She additionally talked about that her grownup nephew, Hank, can be on the home with Falcon. This variation was … surprising. We solely noticed the textual content after returning residence from Falcon’s soccer sport, by which period Jane had already left for the occasion. Neither of us had ever met Hank earlier than, and all we knew about him was that he had studying disabilities.
Falcon was uncomfortable with the concept of spending a number of hours in a home with an grownup stranger. However, since Jane had already left, we felt obligated to satisfy her request. I accompanied Falcon to the home at 6 pm. We walked the canine, performed with them within the yard, and greeted Hank, who was sitting at midnight and ignored us. Falcon was afraid of him. We performed outdoors with the canine for a few hours till it grew to become too darkish and mosquito-y to moderately stay outdoor. We then introduced the canine inside and waited collectively within the entrance room with them till Jane returned, as neither of us was snug leaving Falcon alone with Hank.
When Jane acquired residence, she seen canine poop within the kitchen, which we hadn’t seen as a result of Falcon was too scared to go in there (it was hooked up to the room the place Hank was hanging out at midnight). It appeared that Hank and/or the canine had stepped within the poop and gotten it far and wide. Our greatest guess is that the pooping occurred earlier than we arrived, as we had been with the canine pretty persistently from 6 pm till Jane’s return. Jane handed Falcon $75 as fee, however I texted her the subsequent morning, providing to return the cash since we hadn’t prevented the canine from soiling the home. Jane requested us to return $50, which we did.
I really feel horrible about the entire scenario. I don’t suppose Jane ought to have put my son within the place of being alone for hours with a person he didn’t know. Falcon feels responsible for not doing a greater job with the canine. I’m questioning how might I’ve dealt with this higher. Past letting the canine out earlier, after all. I really feel like I’ve each traumatized my little one and let down my neighbor.
That is 100% on Jane. Falcon agreed to a selected job: taking part in with the canine for a few hours, on his personal, ending no later than 9 pm. Jane unilaterally modified that to “keep at my home for six hours with an grownup man you don’t know.” Even when Hank had been friendlier/much less intimidating, this wasn’t an okay factor to ask of a middle-schooler, notably with out checking to see if he’d be snug with it and presumably speaking with you as nicely. (Frankly, even when Falcon had been snug, I don’t suppose it will have been an applicable ask. If Hank isn’t able to caring for the canine himself, and is somebody who may smear canine poop everywhere in the home with out cleansing it up, an unprepared middle-schooler isn’t the suitable particular person to be alone with him.)
If we might return in time, ideally you’ll have coached Falcon to inform Jane that he couldn’t keep later than the time he agreed to (and even informed her that your self). You say you felt obligated to satisfy Jane’s request, however you weren’t obligated; the request wasn’t the one Falcon had agreed to. I don’t suppose you wanted to supply to return the cash though I can perceive the impulse, given the poop scenario. However Jane ought to have refused that supply and will have apologized for a way issues unfolded.
2. I submitted a day off request 3 months in the past … and am nonetheless ready
I work at a small firm, about 50 workers. Final 12 months, the proprietor turned over day-to-day operations to a VP who has been with the corporate for the previous 10 years. I report back to the VP and am considered one of 4 folks with the corporate in a managerial place.
Over three months in the past, I submitted a go away request for the week of Christmas. I’ve been on this trade for over 20 years and that week is traditionally the slowest week of the 12 months. I normally don’t take off that week in order that my employees is ready to journey to see household (my household is small and native). Final 12 months, my brother-in-law died on Christmas and my husband doesn’t need to be residence because of the unhealthy recollections from final 12 months. As a result of it’s Christmas, I submitted my request early to verify it was well timed and earlier than every other requests had been submitted.
The VP has not decided on my go away request and suggested me he’s nonetheless “desirous about it.” I’m very annoyed. I really feel disrespected and unappreciated. I solely earn two weeks of go away per 12 months, which isn’t a lot and infrequently causes points as my husband has significantly extra go away and we’re unable to journey resulting from my lack of go away. It is usually use or lose, so if I don’t use my time by the top of the 12 months, I’ll lose it. I really feel like my trip time is being held hostage. By no means thoughts that I’ve to pay for the AirBNB and flight and my husband has to request go away as nicely for that week. All the pieces is in limbo over this and the prices are rising every day. The distinction in the price of the flights between early June and September is almost $1000. I’m so offended and disenchanted.
I’m keen to stop over this. My situation is that I don’t suppose the proprietor is conscious of the problems with the VP, and I’m unsure find out how to convey it up as he has said a number of occasions that he has full religion within the VP and trusts him 100%. I don’t suppose it’s applicable to withhold PTO approval (or denial) for over three months, all whereas the price of my trip plans are actually growing and I won’t be able to make use of the go away earlier than the top of the 12 months if this trip request shouldn’t be accredited. Any steerage can be significantly appreciated in find out how to tackle with each the proprietor and VP.
Discuss to the VP first! Say what you’ve stated right here — the prices are rising with every day that you simply wait, the day off is use-or-or-lose it, and also you want to have the ability to plan. Ask what he wants to provide you a particular reply by subsequent week.
If he doesn’t try this (or if he denies the request), speak to the proprietor. “Having full religion in” the VP and “trusting him 100%” doesn’t typically imply “I consider he won’t ever miss something / might by no means profit from assist altering his perspective.” And also you’re a high-level worker who’s been there for a decade; the proprietor most likely would need to know that you simply’re on the verge of quitting over one thing so simply solvable.
All that stated … two weeks of trip time is very stingy for a administration stage place, and much more so after 10 years. I’d additionally discover it grating to be in a high-level administration position however nonetheless be required to get approval for a meager period of time off throughout a gradual interval. Nobody ought to want to attend this lengthy to have PTO accredited, however sometimes PTO approval for managers at your stage is far nearer to a rubber-stamp; making you wait months for no discernible cause is ridiculous. Is that this the one factor the place your organization is stingy and overly inflexible? I’d be inclined to reassess how nicely this place treats you (in cash, in advantages, and in respect) and evaluate it to different choices that may be on the market.
3. What do I do when my firm firewall blocks a web site?
Every now and then I’ll open a safe-for-work hyperlink however will probably be blocked for varied causes. Generally it’s as a result of it’s a “advocacy web site” (which, my job is in advocacy, so I don’t completely get) however generally it’s for pornography. That is completely mortifying! (And I have to stress, there’s no cause to consider these hyperlinks are literally NSFW!) What ought to I do when this occurs? I normally do nothing, however I’m very embarrassed on the concept of our IT staff getting an alert that I attempted to entry porn at work. Do I have to electronic mail them about it and clear the air?
Nah. They’re most likely nicely conscious that the software program misfires, and also you’re undoubtedly not the one particular person it’s occurring to. Nevertheless, it will be fantastic to message them, “FYI, OatmealAlliance.com is being blocked as ‘pornography,’ which it clearly isn’t.” That means you’re informing them about an issue (their blocking instrument wants refinement) and if it occurs to convey you peace of thoughts within the course of, a lot the higher.
If these are websites it’s worthwhile to do your job, it’s best to add, “Are you able to please unblock it? I would like it for a undertaking I’m engaged on” (or comparable).
4. Greeting folks you’re unsure you’ve met earlier than or not
Low stakes query, however do you’ve gotten a favourite strategy to acknowledge individuals who you’re launched to and aren’t certain should you’ve met earlier than? Or you recognize you’ve gotten, however they don’t keep in mind and also you don’t need to put them on the spot?
I’m normally within the latter class, however could also be shifting into the previous. The default appears to be “good to see you,” to cowl all bases, however actually I hate it. Curious when you have something higher?
“Good to see you” is a basic amongst politicians and others who do a lot of glad-handing for a cause: it covers you in case you’re forgetting that you simply’ve met the particular person beforehand. You could possibly go along with “whats up, how are you?” however there aren’t many different choices for this particular context.
